Tuesday, February 19, 2013


My wife's cousin killed himself yesterday. He was from Long Island but had moved to North Carolina with his wife and kids. He became estranged from her and his kids had chosen sides. He was a long way from home and felt isolated. Having grown up on the West coast and living on the East coast, I had always been concerned about him. While I'm not estranged from my wife and kids, I know how dark it can get being in an alien community and feeling alone. I didn't know him well, but I recognized a kind and gentle spirit and I'm rocked by his decision.

I doubt an early exit is ever the right decision. It's such a flagrant dismissal of all those that love you. But, who can know the depths of depression that can lead you to such a rash and violent act. It has deprived his kids of a father, his sister of a brother, and his parents of a child. From the survivor's point of view, it's a selfish act. But, who can really understand the pain that leads to the early check out.

Of course, my life isn't wine and roses, but whose is? It just reminds that all of the crap that I am going through in my day to day life isn't really that bad. I lost my brother in 2001, and yes, I did look on top of the fridge - he wasn't there. But he is in my heart and I keep him there. Of course, my brother was 39 years old and I have a lot of memories to keep him alive. I wonder about his kids? Do they have enough to keep him alive?

What a waste.

Spike

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